After injuring myself the other day, I have to say that all the messages, calls and posts really were incredibly heartwarming and certainly helped make it a little easier. Thank you to everyone for their kindness.
Today is day two of our reinstated lock-down rules. This is going to be a mighty challenge and I thought there are some very crucial points to consider right now. (Of course follow the rules and comply with the government’s restrictions is all of our responsibility)
Empathy. Each person will be experiencing, handling or suffering through this time differently. There is no correct feeling or emotion.
Some might be fortunate enough that the lock-down isn’t too bad and for others it could be devastating.
It might be the actual loss of a job or the fear and anxiety that it could be happening soon.This is traumatic and whilst there is some government help it won’t last forever and that can cause significant stress and anxiety.
It might be losing a loved one during this time and not being able to have the physical connection and support of family and friends. This adds so much to the already sharp pain of the loss.
It might be the requirement to delay a special occasion such as a wedding. This is deeply distressing for couples who need to postpone.
It might be the feeling of loneliness for those who live alone, or anyone for that matter, as we can no longer have friends or family visit.
It could be that this leads a person to feelings of sadness or depression and these are real and serious struggles for people.
There are many more scenarios as to how the six week period will unfold.
Please do not assume that someone else is experiencing it in the same way that you are. Broaden your perspective to understand that this could be a light jog for some and a minefield for others. Empathy.
Every bit helps. There is a further concept which is called “compassionate empathy”, where we not only try and understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but are moved to help.
There have been incredible acts of kindness that I saw occurring during the last lockdown. I have no doubt this will come to the forefront again.
However, don’t feel guilty if you cannot assist in the way others are helping. I spoke to someone in the last round, who had a number of kids and she and her husband were struggling with work and having young children at home. She felt overwhelmed and guilty when seeing her friends post of their generosity on Facebook. She couldn’t get close to matching the heroic act that she saw her friends were doing. It bothered her immensely.
Please do not feel that you are inadequate. Just looking after yourself is tough enough. If you can help others that’s great. But don’t allow not being able to match your peers generosity to cause further strain on you and your family during this time.
Additionally there are so many ways to help and every little bit counts. Even if you only have the strength to make one phone call to someone you know it also doing it tough, that can go a long way. Each small bit helps and again, you do the best you can.
This is not a competition.
So I want to bless each and everyone of us who are embarking on this next phase that we pass through it as painlessly as possible. Please remember we are all unique and there is no correct way to be feeling. Please remember that you don’t need to compete with anyone. If you can help others, thank you. If you need help, reach out. I know that sounds cliched but you do not need to navigate this alone. You can call me, a friend, the COVID-19 hotline or your council. There are many avenues of support. Utilize them, that’s why they are there. You are not a burden and you should never feel bad to ask for the help. Blessings and love
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Daniel & Rebbetzin Sarah Rabin
